Aspersions... cast or otherwise...
Professional wrestling is fake.
Greco-Roman wrestling was brutual.
Spiritual wrestling will forever be the hardest.
I thought, and perhaps that was my first mistake, that I wanted nothing more than to do what was asked of me. I thought, in haste, that humility and submission to authority would come easy, as they always had. I thought, out of pride, that I would be able to work on my own merit, founded in my own strength. I thought, with hope, that I could swallow my pride and slog through the mundane. I thought...in error.
Having thought in the wrong, I am now attempting to think rightly.
I suppose the penultimate problem for me is that I am not often wrong...and I say that in the most profound humility, forged out of understanding that all I am, I am because Abba-Yahweh gave it to me. If I am right, I am right because God has shown me the way. If I am wrong, it is because I misread the instructions. Righteousness begets Right. Humanity begets error.
The conundrum exists because others around me are not often right...
So I flounder in the mire of a self-imposed castigation leveraging itself down upon me using the fulcrum of my own theological bearings and the long arm of much wisdom...causing much sorrow...which has its own weight.
It is here that I remain... under the load of my own theology... pressed down by the weight of my pride and sense of justice...pulled by my need for rest....and spurred on by others need of me.
Greco-Roman wrestling was brutual.
Spiritual wrestling will forever be the hardest.
I thought, and perhaps that was my first mistake, that I wanted nothing more than to do what was asked of me. I thought, in haste, that humility and submission to authority would come easy, as they always had. I thought, out of pride, that I would be able to work on my own merit, founded in my own strength. I thought, with hope, that I could swallow my pride and slog through the mundane. I thought...in error.
Having thought in the wrong, I am now attempting to think rightly.
I suppose the penultimate problem for me is that I am not often wrong...and I say that in the most profound humility, forged out of understanding that all I am, I am because Abba-Yahweh gave it to me. If I am right, I am right because God has shown me the way. If I am wrong, it is because I misread the instructions. Righteousness begets Right. Humanity begets error.
The conundrum exists because others around me are not often right...
So I flounder in the mire of a self-imposed castigation leveraging itself down upon me using the fulcrum of my own theological bearings and the long arm of much wisdom...causing much sorrow...which has its own weight.
It is here that I remain... under the load of my own theology... pressed down by the weight of my pride and sense of justice...pulled by my need for rest....and spurred on by others need of me.
posted by rOmiLaYu at 7:23 PM
4 Comments:
can i help you? if you need anyone to talk to, i would love to be that person. because no one should have to bear the loads of others without someone helping to bear their load, does that make sense? i can help you bear your load. you give so much of yourself to everybody; i wish you would give me the gift of letting me help you.
sometimes i feel inadequate to read these entry's because i dont always understand them. perhaps thats what you want. me to read, and not understand. it wouldnt be the first time its happened to me. but...then again, it isnt always about me, now is it.
Again, I give you Daniel 10:19. You often remind me of Daniel, though I know you claim to be Jonah.
You're right. I can't help. But maybe He can.
I'm with Crystal...I was sitting right by you while you typed and I really don't get any of it. I am sitting here with a dictionary deciphering the whole thing. I'll get back to you when I have a coherent thought. Thanks for stretching me!
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